[ 7:35 PM ]
trying out my skills at essay writing. the last i wrote was in the stone age. beware, boring post ahead.
men and women share one essential experience in life: each has resided in the womb of a female. no matter what our differences and how wide the gulf of gender, culture, race, class and time, all of us are women born- everyone has a mother. to have lived inside the body of another is a profound and unfathomable circumstance.
a mother, on the other hand remembers all too well what it feels like to have another human being share her body. we are blessed with the long and slowly unfolding knowledge and sensation of carrying life inside us. this remarkable process gives us not only an acute awareness of the connections between all living things, the responsibility inherent in creating life, its fragility and magic but also the pain and sorrow of existence, the fear and reality of loss.
yet the physical feat of conceiving and growing a baby and giving birth grants us only an added insight into what it means to be a mother, a few extra points for effort and experience. we can by no means claim an exclusive territory on mothering, for mothering, nurturance and caretaking are practiced in countless ways by men and women, child and adult, parent and non-parent alike. from a child nuzzling a younger sibling to a college student helping an underprivileged youth, or a bachelor volunteering at a hospice- we are each mother to us all.
and yet being a mother can render a woman invisible in society, can limit her career choices and advancement, and even diminish her own sense of herself. nowhere is this more apparent than in the realm of travel literature. (ok, random, no link jump)
search the book shelves of libraries and you will find volumes and volumes of travel literature. you will discover very few that depict women travelling with children or experiencing in themselves 'mothering' ways, nurturing others or engaging in other women's mothering experiences. this omission implies that having children and journeying are incompatible.
most women in travel literature 'leave behind' motherhood, children and family ties when they travel. (not that it doesn't apply to men travellers but i'm talking about women here) women travellors are generally portrayed as childless, solo adventurers- rootless, tough, fearless, competitive and assertive. do women really become men when they travel? is it necessary for a women to shed her uniquely feminine attributes in order to venture beyond her doorstep?
women of all ages are travelling in unprecedented numbers to places near and far, alone, in groups, with babies on their hips or aging mothers on their arms. women have learned that being a mother is one the greatest assets a traveller can have- it makes connecting with other women much easier and in some situations, can provide a patina of respect that can ward off unwanted advances.
despite all the talk about travel being unsafe for women, we have, in fact one significant advantage when we travel- we can go to almost any country in the world and look another woman in the eye and not be intimidated or intimidating. we catch a woman's eye across an aisle or a table, then perhaps a smile or a nod, and we're sharing stories or photos of our loved ones.
almost every woman travellor (i'm generalizing) will tell you that the second question asked of her when travelling is invariably, 'how many children do you have?' (i'm assuming again). The first of course is 'where are you from?'
ok i'm bored. bye.