[ 7:39 AM ]
He is like me.
He has taken after me.
He is growing up.
I wonder is that good.
[ 6:44 AM ]
ok im SERIOUSLY damn pissed now which i havn't been so for a long time. just let me rant.
tomorrow supposed to be summer league but i just knew today, like Saturday 2146hrs, that match will be postponed to wednesday instead. ok it's not exactly that last minute but anything that's not informed at least 3days before hand to me is considered LATE. i'm sorry but i'm extremely busy and my schedule usually runs back to back to back.
despite it being a sunday and fathers' day tomorrow, i was all geared up and totally prepared to go down and play seriously because i chose frisbee to be my cca in poly and obviously i'll commit to whatever i choose. i even quarrelled with my parents over fathers' day celebration just so to make it down for frisbee BUT ALAS!
it wasn't even that my team leader informed me that match was postponed but me, being gan chiong spider me had to go ask what time to assemble before even knowing that the match was postponed. if i decided to not to be irritating and not ask, i would have made my way all the way down to freaking sengkang to see an empty and perhaps muddy field.
and he says that it was announced the last training. however, what he did not know was that turnout for training during holidays, especially holidays for me is damn difficult cause i've got ALOT OF COMMITMENTS! yes i chose to commit to all of them and i will find time for all of them. stjohn, odac, frisbee. anyone of them is enough to take up all my time but i chose to devote time to all. it sorta kills me a lil' to know his indifference to my attendance for league.
guess what? i just met up with javis, the only one who will meet me all the way at yishun to practice my throws. i know goddamn well i suck but i'm trying my best. and here comes this can't really be bothered ... i know it was my fault that i didn't find out about the latest updates but as team leader, shouldn't he inform his team members of the latest updates as well? communication phail! epic phail!
despite them repeating over and over again to check the frisbee blog for the latest updates, there still isn't any updates about the postponed match tml at saturday, 2159hrs. i understand that whoever that updates the blog may be busy but how long does it take to update? come on, people's schedule depend on these updates and i totally cleared my sunday just for league when i have got 2camp briefings and lots to study.
it may be a little overboard for me to be so pissed but i am! i especially hate it when people give themselves excuses to be lousy. didn't do just say didn't do and apologise la. i would have then felt extremely guilty for making him feel bad and just get over it quickly. but... whatever.
one more time. i'll try.
communication must be impeccable. lesson learnt through someone else.
i sincerely thank you too for giving me a life lesson. not sarcastic, but seriously.
-when the world fails you, stand up and raze them down-
[ 8:34 AM ]
SHOUT OUT TO THOSE WHO READ MY BLOG>>>
I NEED/WANT CRABTREE AND EVELYN 'S FRAGRANCES AND LOTION!
ANYBODY WANTS TO SPONSOR OR CHIP IN?
I'M TOO BROKE TO GET IT FOR MYSELF.
AND MY SKIN CONDITION IS LIKE SAI NOW!
OH! I WANT THE ROSE SCENTED ONES OK :D
terih ma kasi!
[ 8:12 AM ]
i hate it when people stereotype me. i don't deny that i don't do that but i just hate it when they do it to me. i hate it when people, like my mum, harps on my mistakes. like really minor mistakes and she'll go on talking about it for days.
i'm so sick of explaining myself to the rest out there who stereotypes. somehow it hurts to know what people think and expect me to behave is so dissimilar to who i actually am and how i actually will act. and when i act according to who i am, they get surprised/shocked. it's not a nice feeling and i don't like it. it just shows that most out there don't really take the time and effort to get to know you well enough. i'm really appreciative to those who do.
sometimes i do spastic things, which in my opinion are perfectly normal things, to cheer people up. but nobody actually notices when i'm sad or not in a relatively sociable mood. they continue expecting me to always be cheerful and upbeat and i will just so to not disappoint people or make their day worse.
i can get tired too.
and btw, i think talking is a chore. especially when i have to interact with strangers, sharing superficial comments. i immensely dislike it but i know i have no choice but to do it. i really do try my best to be a good and nice person but it really frustrates me at times that i just wanna tear my hair out. i have to rein in my temper and talk really nicely to someone whom im absolutely ready to explode at and it makes me sick to know what a snake i am.
cause when i do that, what's going through my mind is that flaring up at this person will do me no benefit and i in turn may lose something advantageous. i hate it that i'm such an opportunist. but this is life.
it hurts it hurts it hurts! i don't wanna put on the facade any longer but if i tear it down. i think i'll be the most hated person around. so i can only hope.
i hope most like me for who i am now
i hope the rest like the facade me
i hope mr lim is proud of me
i hope i don't disappoint or frustrate anyone
i hope to be...
unbound.
[ 8:22 PM ]
my previous post was like woah, eons ago. i seriously doubt anyone reads this trash now but if you still happen to chance upon this place *clears cobwebs* give me a holler yea :D
i hope i havn't lost touch with my writing skills as school nowadays don't exactly expect me to churn essays and i havn't been visiting this abode, obviously. long post ahead.
i never had the problem of standing up for my friends. never found it difficult, never found it odd to be the only one with a differing opinion and never found it difficult to just walk away from people i dislike or do not take an instant liking to. yes i absolutely agree that i'm a judgmental freak but so? no matter how much i judge my friends, i still do accept them for who they are and sincerely love them with my whole heart. Do note that that only applies to people i consider my friends, and that's not a very wide circle of them. i don't buy the crap of people being totally open or free of judgement cause that just indicates that you either don't have a mind of your own, without any values and beliefs or in a more positive light, you're a saint. and saints, are boring people.
i believe that once people are open to constructive judgments, they improve a whole lot more than people who are closed-minded. that brings me to my point of being close, but not closed to the people and things around you who are always willing to judge you critically and help you in your journey of becoming a more perfect being. yes i still believe that nothing is perfect, but i do have my own yardstick of perfection. Normal bitchings, not malicious ones are the best grounds to learn about yourself. You learn ever so much more about how and what other think about you and 90% of the time, the bitchings have a certain basis of truth to it.
In an attempt to prevent all my paragraphs from starting with ‘I’, I started with in an attempt to :D haha lame. Anw, be sure to be unaffected by extra people who pretend to be able to psychoanalyse people god-damn well and start poking their affected noses into your business. Such people generally have an idle mind with nothing interesting to keep them occupied for them to try stick a foot in your lives. Beware, for they inflict the most damage especially with untruths and their screwed-up perceptions of who they think you are. It’s generally difficult to turn a blind eye/ear to such but nonetheless essential to do so.
I do know that I’m an odd and extreme person who isn’t the easiest or most interesting person to hang out with. That I do not deny but however, I’m glad of the fact that I make no attempts to hide my temperament from the rest of the world. It makes it so much easier for me to discern my friends from, the rest. Those that genuinely like me for whatever crappy shit I am, naturally will come to me and these are those whom I will always be in contact with. I call them friends. I’ll plow through shit for them and duh, obviously I’ll judge them yet still love them for who they are, as I’ve already said. Pardon my use of language as I usually do not concur with the use of profanities but due to a lack of a more suitable substitute, yea. Nobody fucks with me and gets away with it and such a great theory applies to people around me that I care for as well.
I don’t really see the need to get worked up or aggressive over most things in life. Generally, I think I’m a very chillax person who doesn’t really flare up but once whoever with the balls or the lack thereof it happens to tread on my toes, haha gg to you. Sounds so ya-ya but ya true. Piss me off real bad and you shall see. Havn’t erupted in ages and hope the day doesn’t come soon. I usually don’t regret what I say/do in a rage but still, I’ll feel real bad after that and more often than not, my relationship with that person can never be salvage. That is also why I keep my very best to keep eruptions at bay.
ok I shall stop here for now. This is getting a lil’ too angsty and it’s affecting my mood. I’ve got a whole lot more of projects to chiong and I can’t afford to get into an introspective mode. My parting to whoever that reads this post will be to love thyself for who you are unless you really have major character flaws that even you yourself cannot come to terms with, then change. I feel blessed for having people around me who still love me *blushes* despite being such a bitch, freak and lousy person that I am. Have faith in who you are and the people that really like you for that will come knocking. If not, there’s always me and me truly, if you don’t mind have a dormant volcano as your friend! Thank you very much and I love you.
cheers :D
-never procrastinate to be a great friend-