Poppies and Daisies.

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This is my sanctuary
Jotted with my occasional, random outbursts.

Berate my musings and I not,
Lest for abler pens,
For I do not care.

cheers!

foong sheng qi olivia.
08 february '91

snsj reddds '07
cjc odac BXI

[ 8:22 PM ]

my previous post was like woah, eons ago. i seriously doubt anyone reads this trash now but if you still happen to chance upon this place *clears cobwebs* give me a holler yea :D

i hope i havn't lost touch with my writing skills as school nowadays don't exactly expect me to churn essays and i havn't been visiting this abode, obviously. long post ahead.

i never had the problem of standing up for my friends. never found it difficult, never found it odd to be the only one with a differing opinion and never found it difficult to just walk away from people i dislike or do not take an instant liking to. yes i absolutely agree that i'm a judgmental freak but so? no matter how much i judge my friends, i still do accept them for who they are and sincerely love them with my whole heart. Do note that that only applies to people i consider my friends, and that's not a very wide circle of them. i don't buy the crap of people being totally open or free of judgement cause that just indicates that you either don't have a mind of your own, without any values and beliefs or in a more positive light, you're a saint. and saints, are boring people.

i believe that once people are open to constructive judgments, they improve a whole lot more than people who are closed-minded. that brings me to my point of being close, but not closed to the people and things around you who are always willing to judge you critically and help you in your journey of becoming a more perfect being. yes i still believe that nothing is perfect, but i do have my own yardstick of perfection. Normal bitchings, not malicious ones are the best grounds to learn about yourself. You learn ever so much more about how and what other think about you and 90% of the time, the bitchings have a certain basis of truth to it.

In an attempt to prevent all my paragraphs from starting with ‘I’, I started with in an attempt to :D haha lame. Anw, be sure to be unaffected by extra people who pretend to be able to psychoanalyse people god-damn well and start poking their affected noses into your business. Such people generally have an idle mind with nothing interesting to keep them occupied for them to try stick a foot in your lives. Beware, for they inflict the most damage especially with untruths and their screwed-up perceptions of who they think you are. It’s generally difficult to turn a blind eye/ear to such but nonetheless essential to do so.

I do know that I’m an odd and extreme person who isn’t the easiest or most interesting person to hang out with. That I do not deny but however, I’m glad of the fact that I make no attempts to hide my temperament from the rest of the world. It makes it so much easier for me to discern my friends from, the rest. Those that genuinely like me for whatever crappy shit I am, naturally will come to me and these are those whom I will always be in contact with. I call them friends. I’ll plow through shit for them and duh, obviously I’ll judge them yet still love them for who they are, as I’ve already said. Pardon my use of language as I usually do not concur with the use of profanities but due to a lack of a more suitable substitute, yea. Nobody fucks with me and gets away with it and such a great theory applies to people around me that I care for as well.

I don’t really see the need to get worked up or aggressive over most things in life. Generally, I think I’m a very chillax person who doesn’t really flare up but once whoever with the balls or the lack thereof it happens to tread on my toes, haha gg to you. Sounds so ya-ya but ya true. Piss me off real bad and you shall see. Havn’t erupted in ages and hope the day doesn’t come soon. I usually don’t regret what I say/do in a rage but still, I’ll feel real bad after that and more often than not, my relationship with that person can never be salvage. That is also why I keep my very best to keep eruptions at bay.

ok I shall stop here for now. This is getting a lil’ too angsty and it’s affecting my mood. I’ve got a whole lot more of projects to chiong and I can’t afford to get into an introspective mode. My parting to whoever that reads this post will be to love thyself for who you are unless you really have major character flaws that even you yourself cannot come to terms with, then change. I feel blessed for having people around me who still love me *blushes* despite being such a bitch, freak and lousy person that I am. Have faith in who you are and the people that really like you for that will come knocking. If not, there’s always me and me truly, if you don’t mind have a dormant volcano as your friend! Thank you very much and I love you.

cheers :D

-never procrastinate to be a great friend-