hello world! i shouldn't be blogging but whatever. i promise this will be the last post this month. recently i feel that i've grown more withdrawn into my little shell. but somehow i don't really care anymore, neither do i feel that it's something weird.

i only talk to the people i wish to talk to and i no longer bother being nice to people whom i think do not deserve it. i think i really should be nicer and more sensitive but somehow i really don't give a damn. i blast people straight in their faces when i think i'm right and they're wrong, i no longer hold back horrible comments about other people that should be kept to myself and worst of all, i don't wanna talk to 3/4 of the people around me, giving them short, curt replies.

is it really me or is it the people around me getting more superficial and shallow? i guess it's me and i really need to try and fit in. i'm being too opinionated and bull-headed in my headstrong thinkings which most probably isn't as right as i think they are. i reckon 7/8 of the people around me don't feel like talking to me too so oh wells.

i'm extremely discontented and unfulfilled in jc but mostly my own doings. i want to get out asap, but get out with good results. yet the future fills me with with trepidation and hollowness of losing whatever fragile things that i think i still have within my grasp. actually i'm in a state of discombobulation currently and i really have no clue to what's wrong with me.

i think it's really about me and the problem is me. just shut my face and live in seclusion to avoid being a burden to others. on a sidenote, just being random, i love my daddy because he seems to understand me without words and i sometimes think my mum is totally hilarious in a retarded way.

take care yap cause i love you so!

-our camping days and friendship true-