It's suffocating to have to meet up to everybody else's expectations when you suck. I realised i've been doing things for other people, but never for my parents.

my dad stepped in to talk to me about my results. i guess he has been waiting for a moment like this for quite a long while. now that he has finally spoken up, he's a force not to be reckoned with.

my project work grades totally killed me.
i've had many things forcefully taken away from me,
but it's my own doing

i feel many sets of beguiling eyes and disapproving clucks behind my back because i'm expected to perform but have yet to show that i can even pass my Alevels. i feel that i have been a let down. i feel that people are starting to think i'm stupid. i feel so many things that i don't even know what am i truly supposed to be feeling.

now, i feel really down ... and out
weary.tired.sick of things

i want to take this chance to thank Lord for blessing me with so many people who care and are willing to offer a helping hand. but i boldly request now that i need to have a clear, uncluttered mind free of distractions for me to regain my foothold.

it's hard to explain what i'm thinking now.
false face must hide what the false heart doth know.

there's many people i have to live for and i.cannot.crumble. let's just pick up the pieces and move on. gosh i hate this phrase but never dared to tell mr lim.

UNbeatable

-when the going gets tough, the tough gets going-