I think Mr Lim is a great teacher. period.


I think we should all pay more attention to the familar yet not that significant people that are every so often present in our lives.

today, I went to the coffeeshop for breakfast with my sister and brother which we used to visit every weekend in the past with our parents for breakfast. but as time passes and we slowly grew up, we no longer visit that dirty but homely place as often anymore.

the noodle stall aunty who has been there forever since I was a primary 4 kiddo actually remembered my extremely fussy order. what was worrying was that aunty didn't look as though she was in the pink of health but instead looked frail and aged. i was too chicken to ask if she was ok for fear of looking stupid and i sorta regret it now. the bowl of noodle didn't quite taste as good as it should have been, with some tingle of guilt and shame mixed in the concortion.

then came the porridge stall aunty to clear the plates away. interestingly, her comment to my sister was, ni3 shi4 da4 jie3 ah? my sister was quite piqued that she was being called the oldest but i was secretly quite happy that i didn't look that old. haha talk about how time changes the way people look.

she moved on to describe how we were when we were little lithe things romping the earth and now we're these big, humongous creatures that have undergone a metamorphasis called, puberty. how the time flies. but not the memories of these stallholders whom, i wonder how many metamorphasis have they seen.

it's the little things in life that makes human, human. things can change and life moves on. but the intrinsic things that people remember you for you, can sometimes be hard to change. in the eyes of my favourite noodle aunty, i'm still the same old 'little'girl i used to be and she still hasn't come to terms that i'm already 18, no longer as little as before.

the refusal for change, can sometimes be a breath of fresh air. embrace this stubborness but accept the inevitable losses. then, entwine all these into memories you'll keep and occasionally reminisce.

-every man's memory, is his private literature-


okok Les Choristes was freaking good! wahhh sian waterfall sia after watching.
proudly presenting jean-baptiste maunier:



He's just got those super intense eyes. oh mans I can't take it anymore. AHHHHHHH! GO WATCH THE SHOW NOW.


ok once again i read this:

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"You've had this special times with your brother, and you no longer have what you had with him. You want them back. You never want them to stop. But that's part of being human. Stop, renew, stop, renew."

I looked at him. I saw all the death in the world. I felt helpless.

"You'll find a way back to your brother," Morrie said.

How do you know?

Morrie smiled. "You found me, didn't you?"

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sometimes i think this is the special thing about relationships. you lose them, you find them, then you lose them again. it's ironic how so many fleeting people come and go in your lifetime that it's hard to keep track of all of them. sometimes so hard, you don't even bother.

but the specials ones will always be held close to your heart. wordless communications and occasional meet-ups, real talks and comfortable silences. that's real food for the soul.

these people are hard to come by, but once they come, they're here to stay, deeply entrenched into the very fibres of your being.

i want to face this problem head-on because i treasure you and i miss talking to you. but you always seem too eager to flee at the sight of my shadow. can we please stop this because it's just not right. i doubt you'll read this anyway.

-come back, because I never realised-


oh great! now my whole family is down with food poisoning.
how convenient.

They are my reason

It's suffocating to have to meet up to everybody else's expectations when you suck. I realised i've been doing things for other people, but never for my parents.

my dad stepped in to talk to me about my results. i guess he has been waiting for a moment like this for quite a long while. now that he has finally spoken up, he's a force not to be reckoned with.

my project work grades totally killed me.
i've had many things forcefully taken away from me,
but it's my own doing

i feel many sets of beguiling eyes and disapproving clucks behind my back because i'm expected to perform but have yet to show that i can even pass my Alevels. i feel that i have been a let down. i feel that people are starting to think i'm stupid. i feel so many things that i don't even know what am i truly supposed to be feeling.

now, i feel really down ... and out
weary.tired.sick of things

i want to take this chance to thank Lord for blessing me with so many people who care and are willing to offer a helping hand. but i boldly request now that i need to have a clear, uncluttered mind free of distractions for me to regain my foothold.

it's hard to explain what i'm thinking now.
false face must hide what the false heart doth know.

there's many people i have to live for and i.cannot.crumble. let's just pick up the pieces and move on. gosh i hate this phrase but never dared to tell mr lim.

UNbeatable

-when the going gets tough, the tough gets going-