i love money. i love sleeping. i love ice-cream. i love chocolate. i love strawberry stuff. i love reading. i love teevee. i love movies. i love my friends. i love my squadmates. i love odac. i love wasting time doing nothing. i love my mummy. i love my daddy. i love life.

i haven't been doing what i'm supposed to do this past half year. my mummy told me this when i told her my results,

me: i got 3 Us and 2 Ds
mummy: -stares- you need tuition or not?
me: no need la. bu yao lang fei qian. [i never had tution in my life because i think its a waste of money]
mummy: ok.

--------------------stones----------------------------

me: so you want to go for parent-teacher meeting? my math teacher wanna meet you.
mummy: -silence- you know i don't go and i don't think i need to go cause i trust you to do the right thing. ask your math teacher to call me instead.
me: -stuns and hold back tears- ok.

---------------------hurry run to toilet ---------------------

i feel damn bad for disappointing my mummy when she gives me so much freedom. my results have always been bad till the last minute but somehow i never worry because i'm confident things will turn out right.

but now, i'm not confident, because i know myself.

i suck. i feel stupid and i don't wanna feel stupid.

i did relatively well for psle, i did average for Os and now, i ...

i don't wanna break that trust that my mummy has always placed in me to do the right thing.

i still want that preferential treatment i have over my siblings.

for her, i shall because she has.

it's time to die and resurrect.

-trust, once broken, can never be breached-